So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
