Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
