Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize