I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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