So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
