So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
