so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
