kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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