wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
