you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
