i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
