Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize