I want to have your abortion
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
