I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
