plz talk dirty to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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