You're so nebulous sometimes
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
