I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
