I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
