Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
