Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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