This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so explain again why im purple
no
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
