dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
