please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize