im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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