We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
