sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
