is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
