but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
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We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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