East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
