I CAN MOONWALK!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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