It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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