my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
