day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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