i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
