I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
