So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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