Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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