whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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