Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize