I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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