if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
