I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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