Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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