Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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