i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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