But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
