If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
