im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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