He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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