***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
