I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize