OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
