u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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