It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
