Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
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...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize