Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
