im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize