Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize