I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
