On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
